I know, I know, the images this title makes you think of are really bad and probably something you don’t wish to share on the internet. Not me of course because what on earth could possibly be so bad about the word limp? Now that I got all those images burning up inside your noggin, you sick pervs, I’d like to introduce you all to something very… let’s just say entertaining.
Say you’re an Olympic athlete, you’ve been hand-picked to run the hundred meter dash in the next games and your more than prepared for this amazing opportunity. Then imagine you falling flat on your face each time you try to take one step forward. You have that image in your heads? Good because that, in a nutshell, is what QWOP is all about.
I know you’re sitting there saying “QWOP? Isn’t that the name of some metal band no ones ever heard of?” And to correct you: Yes, yes it is but it is also an indie game developed way back in 08 which puts you in the seat of this runner who, for some unknown reason, isn’t built like the rest of us. Within the game you control said runner with the QW and OP buttons to alternate both thighs and calves in order to go forward or in most cases backwards doing a sweet kick just before you hit the ground. Looks kinda like a prototype for a FFX Blitzball simulator.
(Oh my god did he just make a Final Fantasy reference?!?!?)
In my 30 minutes of botched attempts, I finally found a formula that worked, simple by dragging one of my legs behind me I managed to get 53.1 Meters. It was hilarious to watch as I made my way down the track most likely scraping all muscle and cartilage off my leg as I made it to 50 where, as the descriptions warn, there is a surprise waiting. Me expecting a basket of cuddly puppies or maybe even a jetpack, possibly some bandages for my destroyed leg, I was unfairly greeted by a hurdle which then halted my dragging technique which then caused me to fall back on my ass.
Not to say this is a poorly made game but rather a insanely challenging on in which, if you were really dedicated you could make him look human but then where would the fun be in that?
If you want to give QWOP a try, just follow the link and drag your self down that track to hearts content and then tell me about it in the comments below or you could even tell me about all those bad thoughts you had in mind when you read the title to tonight’s blog. I don’t judge, well actually I do but I just like to give off false impressions.
